Wallabies prop Taniela Tupou has made an honest reflection on his past performances in Australia, admitting he doesn't know where his career would stand if not for his move to France at the end of last year.
Tupou has returned to Australia for the opening Nations Championship Tests after signing with French Top 14 club Racing 92 last year, coming off the bench in Saturday's loss to Ireland, and is set to face his club teammates in Brisbane on Saturday night.
Making the move north after bouncing between three Super Rugby clubs Queensland Reds, Melbourne Rebels and a one-year stint with the NSW Waratahs, Tupou has been a regular feature off the bench for the Parisian club, helping lead the group to the semifinals, where they fell short to eventual champions Toulouse.
After starting his career at the Reds 10 years ago under then coach Brad Thorn, rumours swirled of a rift between the tight-head prop and his coach - rumours he swiftly rejected -- before he made the move to the Rebels for a "new challenge". The club would later fold, forcing the 30-year-old to move to the Waratahs for a season.
Following three years on the move Tupou admitted his performances weren't up to his expectations and he needed a new environment.
"They ask me why I left. My honest answer is I just wasn't performing," Tupou told reporters.
"Since I left the Reds, I went to Melbourne thinking things were just going to work out for me, and the honest truth is I wasn't performing with the Rebels. I went from there to the 'Tahs to try new things and again, it didn't work for me.
"There was an opportunity for me to stay back and go to a different team in Australia. I spoke to a few people and decided to go to France and thank god I left to go to France because I needed a change. I started to enjoy myself again and I'm just grateful for being back here with the Wallabies.
"I have no idea what would have happened if I stayed back. I'm just glad I left because I wasn't performing and my head was not where it should have been."
The transition wasn't easy. From the countless pastries on offer "the baguette and croissants, I was into it for the first few months, and I realised it's not going to help me", a new language, and discovering a new level of dark arts in the scrum.
"To be honest, I struggled a bit when I arrived. The French know how to cheat in the scrum," he said. "I thought it'd be easy and I went there and was I wrong. It takes time to get used to it. [There is a] licence around what you want to do.
"Over here, I'm one of the big guys. Over there, I'm one of the small guys. Just trying to adjust to that.
"I did cheat a bit. They do it differently over there. I've got a couple [of tricks] up my sleeve to use this weekend."
Tupou had few opportunities to put his new scrummaging skills to use against Ireland on the weekend with just seven scrums throughout the encounter, but his impact on the pitch was still felt, particularly in defence, making five tackles and three carries in his 30-minute cameo.
Back in Brisbane where he first made a name for himself with the Reds, Tupou has rediscovered his appreciation for his adoptive home and a new perspective on his future in the Wallaby jersey.
"It's good to be home," Tupou said. "I didn't realise how much I missed Australia until I came back.
"I never wanted to leave Australia. I wanted to stay in Australia until I retired. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but I'm so glad I left because it was the best one for me.
"I'm only here for these three Tests. Obviously, Les [Kiss] will take over. I'm not sure what the go is there, but I will always put my hands up to play for the Wallabies.
"I like this team, whether I'm playing or not playing, I like to see the Wallabies do well. If that means me being part of it, I'd love to put my hands up."