We know, we know ... it’s hard to hand out hardware to a team that’s been such a colossal disappointment, but hey -- it’s that time of the year. Besides, we wanted to give Bryce a chance to practice his acceptance speech (y'know, for when the real award comes), Pap the opportunity to receive his swag before he gets exiled forever from D.C., and the rook a reprieve from all that hazing.

MVP: Bryce Harper

When you’re the most valuable player of the entire National League, it’s pretty hard not to be the MVP of your own team. Harper’s numbers are eye-popping, and you’re probably tired of hearing about all of them. The walks, the homers, the average, the OPS, blah blah blah, and he’s only 22 years old blah blah blah. So I won’t bore you again with all those stats.

But there is one stat that I will bore you with: Wins Above Replacement. Harper’s WAR of 9.9 is the best on his team and it’s not even close. Heck, it’s not even close to close. In fact, the next-highest WAR on the Washington Nationals belongs to Yunel Escobar, who clocks in at 2.1. As gaps go, that’s about as wide as the one between Willem Dafoe’s teeth. For what it’s worth, Harper’s WAR is also best in the majors, and 2.6 more than the previous single-season high by a Nationals player (Ryan Zimmerman, 7.3).

So yeah, Bryce Harper’s been kinda valuable.

LVP: Jonathan Papelbon

When a season is as disappointing as Washington’s season was, candidates for least valuable player are many. Doug Fister? Ian Desmond? Denard Span? You could make a solid case for any one of them.

But that would be doing a disservice to the man who truly deserves the dishonor.

It’s not like Papelbon pitched poorly after coming to D.C. He had a respectable 1.10 WHIP in 22 appearances. But he saved only seven games in two months, and the collateral damage he left in his wake -- from Drew Storen to Casey Janssen to Harper to the entire Nats season — is simply too great to measure. Even worse, unless the team brings the embattled closer back next year, which seems highly unlikely, they’ll have to eat some or all of the $11 million he’s owed.

If we’re talking about value -- which is what the V stands for -- nobody has given the Nats less than Papelbon.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: Joe Ross

Before this season, Ross, a former first-rounder whom the Nationals acquired last December from San Diego, had thrown just 20 innings above the Class-A level. Still, the 22-year-old righty, who’s the younger brother of Padres hurler Tyson Ross, acted like he belonged from the moment he arrived in the bigs.

In his first seven starts after being called up in June from Double-A Harrisburg, he posted a strikeout-to-walk ratio of 47 to 4, setting a modern MLB record (since 1900) for the highest ratio ever in a pitcher’s first seven outings. Eventually Ross, who threw 30 more innings this year than he’d ever thrown in a pro season, ran out of gas and was essentially shut down (he’s worked three innings out of the bullpen since Sept. 6). But not before giving every indication that he could be a mainstay in the Nats' rotation for years to come.